"I swear I'm not a witch!"
TOP 10 OF THE 1ST ROUND OF THE 2021 NYC MIDNIGHT
250-WORD MICROFICTION CHALLENGE
Prompts = comedy (genre), overcooking something (action), 'stall' (word)
Peony plunged a mandrake root and some rat tails into the simmering water. This would be the seventh love potion she’d made that day. Poisons and invisibility draughts used to be all the rage in the good ol’ days… Now, all people cared about was love, which made Peony's job terribly monotonous.
“It’s ten dollars to make someone notice you, fifty if you want ’em in your bed by the end of the day,” she recited as a man approached her stall.
“And how does that work, exactly? Peony, is it?” he asked, a bit too seriously.
Peony looked up from her cauldron, feeling suddenly very hot underneath her black shawl. A horrible thought crossed her mind: could the rumours be true? Was magic forbidden now? Was this man going to arrest her?
“W--well,” she mumbled, gazing at the plants and animal parts displayed on her stall. “I have a variety of fra--fragrances…”
“Fragrances?” said the man. “I would have thought you’d sell something… stronger.”
Peony was sweating bullets, and an angry gurgling sound coming from the cauldron told her she’d overcooked the potion.
“What's that?” the man asked, pointing at it.
“A--a herbal infusion,” she replied, wiping her forehead.
“What for?” asked the man. “Heal wounds? See the future?”
“I--I SWEAR I’M NOT A WITCH!!” blurted Peony.
“Oh, there must be a mistake...” said the man, blushing. “I was told I should talk to you for some advice? I'd like to start selling my own potions...”
"Ah, I see."
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'The opener about the popular portions and Peony's boredom with them sets a strong tone for the piece. Her nerves about getting arrested for magic created a riveting situation. How amusing that the man was simply a competitor.'
'I like the twist at the end of the man simply wanting advice. The misunderstanding was executed well, and it was easy to feel the stress that Peony was dealing with. The opening about people only wanting love potions was great.'
'Good sense of Peony being disillusioned by the recent developments in her "job". Well-written dialogue. Peony's fear of being arrested is a great tension builder, nicely symbolized by her sweating.'
(feedback from the NYC judges)
Spring & Summer
A 100-word story written for the 2021 NYC Midnight Microfiction Challenge, using the following requirements: romance (genre), making an apology (action), 'vivid' (word).
'Spring & Summer'
It’s that time again.
Not so long ago your buds pierced through Winter’s white coat, and now my dull yellow will replace your vivid green; withering your delicate flowers, spoiling your sweet fruits, burning your supple grass.
Freshness vanquished by scorching heat, rebirth cut short by desolation. It’s murder, and I always hate myself for it, but what can I do? It's my reason for existing.
I love you as much as you despise me, as you are all that I am not. The pain of having to perpetually sentence you to death is my punishment.
Let’s begin.
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'The opening and closing lines are really dynamic ways to bookend this piece of microfiction. They're simple and broad, but I thought they worked well. You have some great lines that stood out for me in this story (ex: "It's murder and I always hate myself for it, but what can I do?" / "The pain of having to perpetually sentence you to death is my punishment").'
'I enjoyed the poetic feel of your story. The nature details--supple grass, delicate flowers, sweet fruits--add a nice touch.'
'The author strikes a profound creativity having summer feel guilty about impacting spring. For summer to think of it's ritual arrival as a perpetual death sentence for spring is a catharsis. The metaphor used here which can describe human relationships is palpable and resonant. The author does well with structure, sandwiching the emotional content between, "It's that time again," and "Let's begin." '
(feedback from the NYC judges)
